ACME Nuclear Power Company Board of Directors Will Construct
Family Residences on Bleeding River Nuclear Power Site
The ACME Nuclear Power Company announced today, "As a show of confidence in our position that low level radiation has no effect on human health, we are building the residences of all 12 members of our Board of Directors on the Bleeding River Nuclear Site."
The residences and self-sustaining gardens will be set up on the Northern side of the site, along Minnow Creek. The Creek has had low levels of Radioactive Tritium flowing into it from the contamination containment ponds for the last 40 years. A community well will be drilled near Minnow Creek. The Bleeding River Site has 3 reactors now exceeding 40 years in age. Board Chairman Boyd Reynolds said that living at the site for 20 years should prove how safe radiation is.
OK, so this is just a fictitious situation. It suggests a ludicrous scene of a money oriented organization being willing to expose themselves to the same dangers they expose the rest of the community to. I think we all know that this will never happen. But does this fictitious situation raise a valid suggestion?
So let's set up some basic rules to help the Board of Directors of Nuclear Power Plants to optimize their radiation exposure.
1. Housing should be set up in the primary downwind plume of the venting stacks and contamination containment pools. This is to ensure exposure of maximum allowable levels. All releases should be self monitored and not reported to the Directors sleeping in the plume.
2. Gardens and orchards should be maintained to help provide as much fresh food as possible grown in the primary downwind plume, to help bring radiation levels to the maximum allowable level.
3. Water should come from a well on site to help bring total radioactive exposure to the Government Recommended Daily Allowances.
4. All exposure from "accidental spills and leaks" will not count in the cumulative total of allowable exposure.